The Human cycle of emotions involve going through sadness, jealousy, happiness, lust,anger at various stages in life .I have gone through each of the above ..little of some and a lot of the others and being a person who does nothing by half measures I feel them all intensely :) Thats who Iam ....INTENSE....
Sometimes I feel emotions which dominate days and months of my existence and in a way I think its good because I find it easier to leave things behind and move on .Lately the predominant emotion on my plate has been ANGER and though I deal well with all other human emotions , anger confuses me :-)
Its a negative and explosive emotion and something about the mere reaction scares me .What do people say when they see others angry ..."CALM DOWN", do they let people express it ..."NO" ..how do they make one feel ..." SMALL AND STUPID" ...A part of our upbringing tells us that "good people dont get upset or angry ..they just let it go ..FORGET & FORGIVE "
Having said that , I do know that "Anger is a natural emotion, a human response to threats to one's safety, well-being, and happiness. Anger can even be useful if expressed effectively and creatively" So I went about looking for what wise people have to say about anger and how should one deal with it pragmatically .
I found quotes on anger by famous people.One was funny and the rest more sombre,making more sense and applied to how I feet.Here goes:
The funny one first :
"Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret" (laurence J Peter)
Yeah !!that rings a bell .
The serious ones :
" I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry." (Maxine Waters , in Brian Lanker, I Dream a World, 1989)
"Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to "(Harriet Lerner The Dance of Anger,1985)
"When anger rises, think of the consequences." (Confucius)
" Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life." (Joan Lunden)
So I had three questions and went about looking for answers
1)
Is Anger good for you ?
NO.
2)
If not ,why ?
"Because it short circuits your reasoning and can compound already unstable situations ,denial of the same could lead to low self-esteem ,it can lead to depression , binging on food , smoking , drinking .It could tempt you to avoid seeking comfort in unrelated and potentially unhealthy behaviors. It could lead to physical problems like headaches , ulcers, bowel problems , respiratory ills, skin flare-ups, lowered immunity ,perpetual exhaustion & heart attacks"
Wow !!! thats pretty exhaustive
3)
If you are angry how do you deal with it ?"Recognise it , think about how to express it, act constructively,if necessary ,talk directly and assertively with the person who may be be causing you anger and frustration without blaming/shaming the other person. If you can't confront the source of your anger, vent it by letting yourself cry, punching on a pillow until you're exhausted, screaming at a mirror, or excercising. Dont drive."
Makes sense!!!
It was both interesting and enligtening to know what I should or shouldnt do .I realised I knew certain things and sub-conciously act on them but the others I didnt .Iam still taking it in and am sure the time to come will involve lots of internalising and becoming more self aware and balanced and less a prey to my emotions ...
but the conversion from THEORY to PRACTICAL takes time because LIFE aint about theory alone .Its far too dynamic to adhere to set of so called facts and accept them as the absolute truth.
So how do you guys deal with the monster of anger ?Let me know..
